Welcome to the 11th volume of Morning Pages, a newsletter sharing inspirations at the intersection of culture and identity, creative experiments, and occasional studio updates.
Have you ever felt trapped in your life?
For the past few years, I’ve been feeling trapped living a double life.
I built a successful career in the past decade. I led design at major corporates and made great connections. Yet whenever I reflect on the people who deeply inspire me, they often have one thing in common: independence.
I began cultivating my creative passion side projects and planting the seed of declaring my creative independence someday. I followed dozens of artists who inspire me on social media. I joined a local artist community and learned about the business acumen of becoming an artist. I kept on live drawing every week for 18 months.
Even with these efforts, leaping into independence still felt difficult and risky. Leaving the comfort of a high-paying job at a prestigious company felt like a lot to give up. I felt obligated to keep my options open. These different options weighed me down and made me feel unsatisfied. As Torenberg said,
It's like spending your whole life filling up the gas tank without ever driving.
I was deep in an optionality trap.
What’s the optionality trap?
Mihir Desai, Professor of Finance at Harvard Business School, explains the concept succinctly in his article, The Trouble with Optionality:
When you hold an option and the world moves with you, you enjoy the benefits; when the world moves against you, you are shielded from the bad outcome since you are not obligated to do anything.
…
The optionality-obsessed professionals postpone their dreams and undertake choices that they think will enable their dreams. But they fail to understand that all of these intervening choices will change them fundamentally—and they are, in fact, the sum total of those choices.
Optionality is the state of enjoying possibilities without being on the hook to do anything. Because there's no accountability, we end up doing nothing. We become habitual acquirers of safety nets. Those nets trapped us and discouraged us from risk-taking.
What happens once we choose?
After a series of events, I made a decision this year. I said goodbye to my corporate life. I wanted to explore where this road of independence will lead me. (The full story is in Morning Pages Vol.01)
This decision has created much better satisfaction and happiness in my life.
Studies have shown that keeping our options open makes us less happy. When options are wide open, we can’t stop thinking about the downside of each option. We are less happy about whatever choice you end up making. We feel dissatisfied and trapped.
In reality, our mind has an uncanny ability to make us feel good about our decisions. Once we make a final decision, the psychological immune system kicks in. We stop thinking about alternatives and commit to a course of action.
How to get out of the optionality trap?
Let’s hear some advice from experts.
Stay focused
As James Clear recommended: “Highly focused people do not leave their options open. They make choices. If you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything. The great irony of this is that by limiting your options and remaining focused until you master a skill, you actually expand your options in the long run. Life-changing optionality is a byproduct of providing great value, which can only be achieved through focus.”
Embrace risk
Jeremy Bloom founded The Wish of a Lifetime charity. Its mission is to grant lifelong wishes to the oldest generation. When he asked the older generation about their biggest regrets, these are the top 4 regrets:
I don't regret the things I did do; I regret the things that I didn't do.
I wish I didn't worry so much.
I wish I had defined my own rules.
I wish I would have taken better care of myself.
In the end, we regret not taking more risks. The fear of taking a risk far outweighs any regret you might later face if things don’t work out. In his article, The Risk Not Taken, entrepreneur Andy Dunn said:
The risk is not in doing something that feels risky.
The risk is in not doing something that feels risky.
Make friends with failure
Keeping options open is often rooted in fear of failure. So often, we’re waiting for the perfect moment to arrive and announce, “It’s time. I’m ready.”
Neil Soni wrote:
Guess what? It’s never going to be ready….these would-be entrepreneurs are keeping the option of being an entrepreneur alive, while not engaging in any of the emotional (ego) risk of being wrong….
Human beings naturally reframe failure as a learning experience and move forward. Ask yourself how you’ll feel in 10 or 20 years as a result of this decision. Taking the fear out of the equation, and replace it with the possibility of learning. This helps make a decision that’s based on our desire, rather than basing it on what’s safe or comfortable.
Differentiate
Torenberg recommended, “Accumulate optionality through differentiation, not conformity.”
Take a job in an unproven industry. Invest in an emerging skill. Learn an uncommon language. Understanding a lesser-known culture. Solve a hard problem few people are looking at.
Do the work that only you can do.
Thank you for reading this volume of Morning Pages. All views in this newsletter are my own. If you’re enjoying this newsletter and want to express your appreciation, spread the word and support the studio for the price of a cup of ☕️.
Yuan Studio is a space that explores the intersections of global cultures and identities. Currently, the studio is incubating a series of creative projects, such as Morning Pages, and offering coaching for people of color to harness the power of their creativity and leadership potential. You can reach out on Twitter and LinkedIn.